Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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