Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
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