new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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