Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
