Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
