so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
