I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
