she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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