as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
