Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
