The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
