How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
