i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
