I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
