I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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