You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
