We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
