he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
