I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
