what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize