who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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