Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
