I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
