no. you can't hotbox the world.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize