i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
