How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
