who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Ladies don't puke and tell
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
