I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
