shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize