I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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