the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
