Christians are straight up FREAKS
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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