Say something about gay babies.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
