I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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