Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
