I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
