I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
