eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
