Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Randomize
