I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
