My friends, they love my intelligence
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
