He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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