just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
