i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
