Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize