Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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