On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
