my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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