What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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