so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize