# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
