my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
