bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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