Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
