someone owes me an orgasm
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
