Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
