and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
