We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Houston, we have a blender
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
