I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize