fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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