i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
