Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
