There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I queefed so loud it echoed.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
