mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
