Rock
Scissors
Fuck
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The air was thick with penises
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
