matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
