11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
