At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize