So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
