do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
